Taking a cue from South African President Jacob Zuma, Georgia republicans will seek to repeal anti-polygamy laws from the O.C.G.A. This repeal will be limited to only registered republican males seeking or currently holding elected public office. H. R. 1 sponsored by the entire GOP delegation, will allow for a man to have multiple wives so long as he provides for her well being. When asked about the necessity of such legislation, Lieutenant Governor Casey Cagle (R-Gainesville) responded that, “When you are as powerful as I am [sic], well that is just too much man for one woman to love.” The Governor’s office refused to comment on this piece of legislation stating that it was too early into the process; however, when asked if the Governor would make use of such legislation, spokesman Bert Brantley responded, “I doubt [Sonny] has the stamina for such a thing as that.” Some wonder how a state that is firmly located in the crotch of the Bible belt could justify this with their Judeo-Christian beliefs and heritage. State Representative James Mills (R-Chestnut Mountain) stated that, “He believed that the ending reading of the Bible could be interpreted to include a polygamist society. Besides this will eliminate politicians needing mistresses on the side [sic]. Surely God would want us to do that.” When asked if he would soon have a new marriage in his future, he declined to comment.Time will only tell if such legislation can make it through this legislation session. Minority leader Dubose Porter (R-Dublin) said that as long as we can find a revenue source out of this he would not oppose it. He did say that democrats would look to amend the bill to include a limit of only 3 women. “I think Tiger only had 3 mistresses, so I am not sure the republicans should be allowed to out drive him.”

Republican Glenn Richardson could not be reached for comment. It is rumored that he planned to spend the holidays alone touring The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, California. One Republican prognosticator anonymously said that he doubted this legislation would help Mr. Richardson stating, “That he’s pretty much a washed up politician.”

And if you beleive any of this, Sonny Perdue has some land that he will sell you.