A complete recalibration of the Left On Lanier Elimination Formula™ this week, due to going 1 for 3 on the past two eliminations. I think I’ve found the crucial ingredient missing, and have added that religiously to my diet.

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 Before we recap, let’s look at Left On Lanier long-term likelihoods (alliteration, bitches!)

  1. Adam Lambert
  2. Danny Gokey (it’s a virtual tie for #1)
  3. Lil Rounds
  4. Matt Giraud
  5. Allison Iraheta
  6. No one else has a shot.

Also, when Paula Abdul delivers one of her rare negative reviews, her voice cracks and she appears- I dunno, scared? Intimidated? C’mon Paula, you’ve been banging this show out for seven years.

Adam Lambert dropped some of the pretentious High School Musical crap and dressed like he was auditioning for Ocean’s 11 instead. This is a compliment. Looked sharp. Sounded sharp. He added some George Clooney and subtracted some Boy George.

Megan Joy Corkrey rumbles my nether regions, but her pronunciation problems are getting tiresome.

Matt Giraud is awesome. Justin Timberlake, please pick up the white courtesy phone.

Lil Rounds is coasting. No worries. She’s the most talented girl remaining.

Prediction to be voted off (12:10 am): Michael Sarver. It’s a shame that this hard-working blue-collar boy won’t be continuing this season. He’s better than Scott and Megan, but he isn’t visually impaired (so, no sympathy votes) and he doesn’t have tits (another negative, cause they could help).

UPDATE (10:21 pm): My diet of alcohol, tobacco and fried chicken appeared to correct my earlier prognostication errors. NAILED IT- MICHAEL SARVER VOTED OFF. Although I wonder if the drama at the end of the show (Simon saying, “we haven’t decided yet!”) is an attempt to wrench more drama out of the process. Never mind. I’m just jaded. But if this is a harbinger of things to come, where every week the judges furiously beat the clock! to decide somebody’s fate! before the end of the convicted’s song! I’m gonna be really disappointed.

Cumulative Results This Season: 9 out of 12 this season. 10 out of 13 this season, 1 out of 1 tonight. I’m back, baby, like Travolta in “Pulp Fiction” or Aerosmith when Run DMC called back in 1985.

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